Abroad Relationships

All Is Fair In Love & War.

Posted on by laynenthecity

Compared to Texas, the dating world abroad is nearly non-existent. Make no mistake, if you consider hooking up with someone and y’all don’t speak until you hookup again dating, then sure you’re dating.  It never ceases to amaze me how girls will have sex with a guy, after only knowing each other for the night, and think that there is ‘something there’ or believe that they are ‘dating’.  Of course, there will always be that exception couple that had sex the first night they met and ended up dating, but lets face it we really only have heard the stories from a friend of a friend that knew some girl. 1341591032701_5774719

After ending what seemed to be long relationship in college, I found myself having to dust off and reread my book of dating games I once knew better than the back of my hand.  Obviously, when you are in the bar/club scene you will have no problem meeting people, but what happens when you aren’t looking to have casual sex. Now, don’t get me wrong I will never discourage any of my friends from having casual sex, as long as they know what they are getting themselves into and they are being safe, then I am all for it! But what happens when you meet someone in the club and don’t have sex. tumblr_inline_njbytm0nOe1sxaw4z

About a month ago, I picked a target in one of the very popular beach clubs in Barcelona and decided to see how far I could take this by pulling out some of the old tricks. So, I explained that I am just “not that type of girl” (that goes home with someone on the first night) and that I would never play games.  After hanging out several more times and still never giving in, my friends began to ask me how does it work, how is it possible to meet someone genuine in a club notorious for one-night-stands not relationships. I began to wonder: is it possible that playing games is the way to start and keep a relationship?

To be or not to be…truthful, that is the question.

Posted on by laynenthecity

Before coming abroad, many people in relationships have to deal with the talk of are we going to stay together or are we going to break up. But what happens when the conversation doesn’t really go towards black or white, and the end is ambiguous.

My roommate, J, had to deal with a similar situation. Before going abroad her significant other (S.O.) and herself had discussed that it would be best if they weren’t as serious and were allowed to do what they wanted while she’s abroad.  Little did they realize that they would be talking to each other multiple times a day.  After the first couple weeks, J naturally was starting to feel guilty about an interaction she had had when we went out the first night. Although many would see the interaction as harmless, J felt that she needed to explain what had happened to her S.O. as she had promised she would.

About four months before coming abroad, I confronted this issue head on. Looking back I believe that the decision I made was correct morally, but I never predicted how it would effect my S.O. and myself emotionally. At about our year and a half relationship mark, I started to reevaluate my relationship knowing that I was going abroad. I decided that it would only be fair if I was completely honest about how I was feeling and described to my S.O. that until I arrive back into the United States I think that we should be single and reevaluate when I get back for summer break. This obviously came as a shock considering we have always talked about being together in the end, and the day before we were jokingly (but somewhat serious) planning what our future dogs names would be.

I have always felt that if I am completely honest and I listen with my ears wide open, there is no reason that anyone should be confused. I would rather be completely honest with someone and allow them to decide our future, than hide my true feelings and continue to lead them on. Nevertheless, is it better to be completely honest or spare someones feelings?