Before coming abroad, many people in relationships have to deal with the talk of are we going to stay together or are we going to break up. But what happens when the conversation doesn’t really go towards black or white, and the end is ambiguous.

My roommate, J, had to deal with a similar situation. Before going abroad her significant other (S.O.) and herself had discussed that it would be best if they weren’t as serious and were allowed to do what they wanted while she’s abroad.  Little did they realize that they would be talking to each other multiple times a day.  After the first couple weeks, J naturally was starting to feel guilty about an interaction she had had when we went out the first night. Although many would see the interaction as harmless, J felt that she needed to explain what had happened to her S.O. as she had promised she would.

About four months before coming abroad, I confronted this issue head on. Looking back I believe that the decision I made was correct morally, but I never predicted how it would effect my S.O. and myself emotionally. At about our year and a half relationship mark, I started to reevaluate my relationship knowing that I was going abroad. I decided that it would only be fair if I was completely honest about how I was feeling and described to my S.O. that until I arrive back into the United States I think that we should be single and reevaluate when I get back for summer break. This obviously came as a shock considering we have always talked about being together in the end, and the day before we were jokingly (but somewhat serious) planning what our future dogs names would be.

I have always felt that if I am completely honest and I listen with my ears wide open, there is no reason that anyone should be confused. I would rather be completely honest with someone and allow them to decide our future, than hide my true feelings and continue to lead them on. Nevertheless, is it better to be completely honest or spare someones feelings?